Before I Was a Bear
One woman, one man, one person shows are the ones I used to dread the most. You can almost predict the plot, the narrative devices, the ending to a tee. But this is a one bear show, so the rules clearly don’t apply. No. But literally. All the props to actor Jacoba Williams for doing this entire thing in a bear suit.
The very first moment, in fact, is Williams bursting onto the set in a full bear get up, dancing to the club music with absolutely zero fucks to give. This successfully sets the tone for the rest of it. The bear is Cally, and Cally didn’t always used to be a “bear.” Already, I’m gripped by the metaphor: okay, I need to know what this is all about now. She used to cry on the Tube (all the lines), she used to have sex (good and bad, with men and women), she used to feel agonizing pain and immense joy. Now, she is a bear. And bears don’t do these things.
Intervals of sickness and transformation disturb the playing space periodically, showing all the things bears “can’t” do (text, open crisps, light a cigarette). This winds the narrative up and up for that very moment in which Cally fully transforms into “bear.”
The narrative truly starts when Cally encounters her teenage celebrity crush at a pub. This is when the pieces start to come together as to why, precisely, she spent all that time detailing her teenage years. I couldn’t help but think that I’d seen this coming-of-age sequence in other recent plays, like Purple Snowflakes and Titty Wanks. This time, however, the smaller narrative had a larger purpose.
It set up, for instance, for Cally’s female friendships, and for how these would evolve and disentegrate as she embarks on an affair with her (married) celebrity crush. It set up the fact that Cally had cheated on someone before (her teenage boyfriend with her best girlfriend, Carla). And finally, it set up Cally’s overall dissatisfaction at sex with men. When she finally does have sex with her celebrity crush, she discovers new territory. Is it because he’s older? Is it because of the nature of the situation? Is it simply because of who he is and the power he holds? Or maybe it’s just simple sexual compatibility?
Either way, we begin to understand, perhaps, why Cally let the affair go on for as long as it did. And it’s her friends’ and the media’s reactions to the affair that I find most interesting. She is the one most exposed when the cheating scandal comes out. The man is largely unscathed. It seemed opportune timing given all of the recent Heard-Depp media circus (How much has Johnny Depp’s name been “defamed,” really?). And finally, the bear metaphor is fully unraveled. Bears hibernate and hide themselves from the world. They are pariahs, dangerous, and capable of seriously hurting people.
So is it possible for Cally to return to her human form? At what point do we make the transition back from social pariah to relatively okay human being? Or will a little part of us always be “bear?”
Before I Was a Bear is playing at the Soho Theatre until 11 June 2022.
